DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife told me to find a lover because she no longer wanted sex – but now my lover wants more and I’m torn.
I am 47 and she is 53. She has two girls from her first marriage who I love like my own and we have a son together who’s at university.
My wife is my best friend and I trust her completely. We share the same values and interests and can talk about anything and everything.
I care deeply about her and she is a beautiful-looking woman. I would never have gone looking for someone else if our sex life hadn’t come to an end.
We’d had a great love life but she said the feeling has gone for her. She still loves me but can’t imagine wanting sex ever again.
I was very upset when she told me to find someone else for sex but, after a while, I joined a dating site.
I didn’t expect to meet anyone but, within weeks, I met a woman ten years younger than me who was divorced and only lives half an hour from me.
She had two long-term lovers who knew nothing about one another but she stopped seeing both when we started a sexual relationship.
Sex with her is amazing and she makes me feel alive. She enjoys me being dominant, which I love.
She says she has never trusted anyone as she has me, and that the only thing which is not perfect is that we’re not together. She wants me to leave my wife to be with her properly.
My wife and I talked about splitting but it is so hard after 20 years. I love my home and my family mean the world to me.